Cougars

This is for all you young, strong, strapping lads out there. i just want to make sure that you all are well-informed about the topic of cougars.

Lesson #1: How to identify a cougar.

Many individuals are misidentified as Cougars, leaving the accuser embarrassed and frowned upon and the accused offended and ready to give you a hearty kick to the groin.

Case in point: One of my fellow students and her friend (aged 24-25ish) went to a club/bar called FUBAR in Waterloo one night and as they sat at the bar waiting for their drinks, a young, drunk frosh yells out in their direction,

"COOOOUUUUGGGAAARS!"

Although the event was hilarious, the said persons were misidentifed as cougars.

To avoid being a misinformed newb, here are some tips at how to identify a Canadian Cougar:

Lesson #2: Although we should be avoiding Cougars, not all young men do. why? because they're desperate perverts.

Case in point: i went to the Victoria Park Goodlife a month back and as i approached the front counter, the young, goodlife employee said to his two, eagar listeners,

"dude, I know this great cougar bar we can go to!"

I swiped my card and interrupted his conversation. He turned around and buzzed me in and then continued on to describe the Cougar bar to his two anxious buddies. Although hilarious, i'm more inclined to laugh at them than joyously with them about their supposed new found goldmine.

Lesson #3: Cougars are well prepared as to how to hunt their prey. Every move is well calculated. Do not be fooled thinking that an older woman hitting on you is just a random happening. Also do not be fooled by the skimpy clothing and heavy makeup: If you concede to one of these predators, you run the risk of having to cry in the corner once you notice on the morning after that she is popping a couple metamucil caplets into her orange juice.

Case in point: Look what i found:

http://www.amazon.com/Cougar-Guide-Women-Dating-Younger/dp/1552976351

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extras:

Here is a good definition from Urbandictionary.com

Cougar: (see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"

I leave you with some pictoral clarifications:

Pictorial Clarification #1: Cougars

Exhibit A. Cameron Diaz. This is what happens when the skimpy clothing and makeup is removed. You still feel like bringing sexy back, Justin?

(click on the square)

Exhibit B. Demi Moore. Yikes. do not be fooled; those fangs are deadly weapons. Ashton, you just got punk'd.

Pictoral Clarification #2: Fresh, young, studly meat.

Exhibit A: Ken Leung (accompanied by Paris Hilton).

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Exhibit B: Sam Wong (accompanied by Lindsay Lohan).

Addendum: Paris and Lindsay are not cougs. I chose these pictures as i felt that they best represented how young, fresh and studly my two specimens are; young, fresh and studly enough for individuals like Paris and Lindsay to latch on to with all their might.